George here! You know, gay popstar, 41 years of age, had massive hit with Careless Whisper about nothing personal in 1984 and have in later years enjoyed casual sexual intercourse with a number of nice, friendly guys with big knobs while pursuing an emotionally monogamous relationship with Kenny based on total honesty.
There, introductions over. This morning one of my very new friends came by with three of his muscly buddies just when I was re-writing One More Try for the Olympics. To fit with the theme of the day and make sure everybody knows it’s okay if they don’t win this year because they can always give it one more try (geddit?) next year. So right in the middle of that this convoy of humpy looking male flesh shows up. I don’t know, but I think something or someone is trying to stop me from finishing this song, and I tell ya, I will not be stopped by anything or anyone.
Well, maybe besides a bunch of hunks.
I thought to myself… I should sod the Olympics, really. They probably can’t get the sound right or they’ll screw up the syncronizing or even worse: they’ll insist on filming my bad side. I can’t let that happen, for reasons I can’t possibly let you in on, dear diary. Besides, I can’t cancel a live broadcast. Imagine that!
I don’t think Lionel Richie knows he’s not opening the Olympics yet. Saw him on some show a couple of weeks ago, and he seemed quite sure he was going to do it. Imagine the conversation backstage!
Lionel: Hey, George, what are you doing here?
Me (George): I’m doing the opening!
Lionel: No, you’re not! I am!
Me: Sorry, love. I was there first!
Lionel: Are you quite sure? Not fair. How come I wasn’t told?
Me: Because they know that geniuses – such as myself – often get into serious artistic indifferences with themselves and it must therefore be left possibilities – for someone such as myself – to pull out. Therefore, my dear friend, you were not told in case this should happen last minute. But lucky for both me, you and the rest of the world I shall perform an outstanding song live in front of billions of people so nobody needs to listen to your middle of the road bollocks.
That should teach him. Would they really choose him over me?! Please don’t make me laugh! So I decided I should do it anyway.
After having this imaginary conversation out loud with myself – doing different voices and stuff – I said to myself, “Hey George, you can have sex AND write the song!” So I had sex and I wrote the song. It sounds a bit like Freeek! meets I Want Your Sex meets One More Try. So even though I’ve sort of left my original idea at that – an idea – I have written the 2004 Olympic song! And it’s abso-****ing-lutely amazing! Now all I have to do is record the backing track in case they **** that up, add my vocals incase they can’t get that right and I’m ready to rumble!
This is the essence of it:
“I want that gold (da-da-da-da-da-da-da)
I want it now (du-du-du-du-du-du-du)
Not everybody gets it
But everybody should
You’ve got yourself a sponsor
You’ve got yourself a body
You’ve no mind of your own
Bring that gold to me, baby
But if you fail
Remember (yeah-yeah)
Give it one more try
Next year (yeah-yeah)”
I don’t have a melody or an arrangement yet, but I can get that done in a few days. After all, I work really really quickly in the studio. No no, don’t laugh yet. I DO work quickly, really, but I can’t have the Air Studios guys beat me in the weekly Tekken tournament, now, can I! With Eddie I kick some manager/sound engineer/receptionist/bodyguard arse!
Anyway, I should run and get the song done. And it’s not even Friday!
Best,
George xx
