Right.
Well, I’m home. Came home last night after the gig in France and going back to Lyon tomorrow. As of today, four down, 43 to go. Fuck-me, really? That’s another… eleven weeks. An average of four shows a week. Blimey. Weeeell, at least I have a private jet. I’ve no idea where my crew is, but they’re not here. Thank fuck.
I went online tonight with my regular nickname and as usual I got a whole shitload of replies, right, and as usual most die down but one or two keep it up. I was feeling particularly dirty, and said “how d’ya want me to do you?” and one went into this elaborate description that was a bit too romantic for me, so I ignored him. This other guy, on the other hand, said “I want u 2 bend me over & do me hard, big boy”. I immediately warmed to him (I mean, shit, BIG!) and I said “and what would you do to me?” and he said… actually I can’t say what he said cause it was a bit X-rated but it sounded divine. So I got really really excited and he then asked “what u doin’?” and I said “nothin’” and he said “me too”. So we were both doing……….nothing, right, and then he asked “How big r u?” and I said “HUGE!” and he said “Cool. I love’em big. My b/f ain’t that impressive.” I asked if his boyfriend knew about him doing this online and he said “He does it 2 – wanna meet?” And I agreed.
So I got out of my bedroom and ran into Kenny on the way down the stairs (I didn’t even know he was here). As we were both heading out the front door I asked where he was going. He said nowhere. He asked where I was going. I said nowhere. We got in our cars and sped off in different directions. I was getting excited, was looking forward to some great sex, when I pulled up by Hampstead Heath and saw a BMW there. Similar to ours. I crashed the engine as I saw that, in fact, it WAS ours! Kenny stepped out and nearly passed out. He looked at me in horror, and knew I wasn’t happy.
Am currently offended and not talking to Kenny. The sizeist muppet.
George – the bigger man.
